Friday, March 28, 2014

I'm sorry


"I'm not a perfect person. 
There's so many thing I wish I didn't do. 
But I continue learning. 
I never meant to do those thing to you. 
And so I have to say before I go. 
That I just want you to know."

Words will never fully express how sorry I am, but I truly hope that it is a good start. I make mistake to everyone that I don't have the opportunity and courage to ask for forgiveness. And even hard when apologized and still repeat the same stupid mistakes.

Prophet Muhammad PBUH taught us that if we have wronged someone, we should pray for them by saying, "O Lord, whomever I have abused reward him with purity.." And the Quran told us of how the brothers of Joseph apologized to their father by saying, "O our father, seek refuge for us, verily we're in the wrong.."

I'm sorry..

I'm sorry Ayah, for not thank you all the effort you put through to rise me up and be who I am today. For being there for me in time of trial and tribulation, you're always be my knight in shining armor.

I'm sorry mum, for all of the tough times I put you through. I’m sorry for all of the disagree I started with you. All of the things that I have been going through, makes me realize what you say is true. 

I'm sorry to you my brothers and sisters, you grew so fast and I was so far away from you.

Sorry to the stranger that I blocked off with my car and I delayed him and then I realized that a polite hand gesture is not enough.

Sorry to the imam who I listened to and only realized that his word flew pass me.

Sorry to my teacher who taught me my first letter and I grew up without saying thank you.

To the one who greeted me so enthusiastically and I responded so coldly.
To my friends who I was unable to help.
For the word I said without real consideration. 
For my actions that I perform without focus.

Sorry for the apology that I delayed, to apologize earlier is mush easier then holding the burden of keeping it in.

Sorry my Lord, for not concentrating in my prayers and ignoring the fact that You are listening and watching. 

I'm sorry Allah, for every moment that You saw me turn away from Your worship and me being so heedless from Your All-seeing-eyes. Sorry my Lord, for not thanking You for everything You have given me, my health, my parents, my family and every single thing. 

Sorry my Lord, for wasting my time in things that do not benefits me.
From the money I spent so selfishly. 
From the words I spoke so carelessly, 
But I know You are The Most Forgiving and The Most Merciful. 

Help me Allah, in becoming a better person.

"I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you"

Indeed, the reason is all the person that I love. You and you and you and yes you.

p/s: it's my time.



It's been 2 weeks and half since MH370 missing out. And last few days, our Prime Minister make a heartbreaking announcement to the all people, especially the one who have family members aboard. MH370 had ended at Hindi Ocean which the deepest ocean in the world. 

But still, don't lose hope until the wreckage found. Nothing is impossible in this world. Just be faith. When Allah wants it happens in that way. It will happen anyway.

They called "the darkest day for Malaysian". Let's pray for MH370. And may the phrase "syukur lah Malaysia masih aman" not just a phrase.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

New year?


Hi people! It's never too late I guess to wish a Happy New. Dude, it's 2014! Once upon time, we thought 2014 was so far away. Time flew so fast. And this year I'm almost 21 years old. OMG, am I that old? :O

Today I'm feeling like I'm free again. Since last Tuesday, I'm pretty messed up. Actually this whole 3 month and half, I'm pretty messed up. Cerita nya, aku lately tak berapa nak sehat. Dah dua kali masuk hospital. First on 27th of November, and second time on 28th of Disember.

Ye lah, masa tuh kes denggi kat area Condo aku duduk ni which called Cyberia banyak la sangat. Member member satu University pon lepas satu satu yang kena. Aku pulak, Alhamdulillah tak kena denggi. It's just high fever. Itu pun dah rasa cam separuh mati bertaruh nyawa untuk terus hidup. chewah. Betul kot, temperature aku masa tu 39.7 celcius and above. Even worse, it reach 41 celcius. Rasa cam nak terbakar pun ada. Huuuuu, banyak dosa agak nya.

Indeed, this high fever make me a skeleton. Before sakit, aku ni takde lah nak kata gemuk sangat pun. Kalau kira BMI tu, on normal level lah kan. After having a high fever, I lose appetite A LOT. Makan muntah, makan muntah, makan muntah for a MONTH. So, no wonder if I lose my weight about 8kg in a month. No joke.

Dan sekarang I'm on mission to gain my weight back. Alhamdulillah, sekarang dah sihat dan selera makan pon dah macam hantu raya dah. Huuuu, dah tanak rasa dah demam panas tuh. Ever.

Herm. Cerita aku sakit ni the reason why today's sadness. For the first time kena barred subject Islamic Studies from taking final exam due to low attendance. Actually semua 5 subject aku kena barred untuk trimester ni. Tapi, aku sempat jumpa 4lecturer je untuk explain what was happened with my attendance. So, only for lecturer know my health issues and accept my excuses.

Last subject, macam tawakal habis lah. Nak buat macam mana, maybe there's a lesson to be learnt lah kan. Ah, sekarang ni struggle for final. Semoga lepas semua subject dengan keputusan yg berwarna warni lagi. chewah.

Okay, pray for my final! See ya 'til the next post! Peace out!

p/s: for the first time - the script