I'm sorry

Assalamualaikum

"I'm not a perfect person. 

There's so many thing I wish I didn't do. 

But I continue learning. 

I never meant to do those thing to you. 

And so I have to say before I go. 

That I just want you to know."

Words will never fully express how sorry I am, but I truly hope that it is a good start. I make mistake to everyone that I don't have the opportunity and courage to ask for forgiveness. And even hard when apologized and still repeat the same stupid mistakes.

Prophet Muhammad PBUH taught us that if we have wronged someone, we should pray for them by saying, "O Lord, whomever I have abused reward him with purity.." And the Quran told us of how the brothers of Joseph apologized to their father by saying, "O our father, seek refuge for us, verily we're in the wrong.."

I'm sorry..

I'm sorry Ayah, for not thank you all the effort you put through to rise me up and be who I am today. For being there for me in time of trial and tribulation, you're always be my knight in shining armor.

I'm sorry mum, for all of the tough times I put you through. I’m sorry for all of the disagree I started with you. All of the things that I have been going through, makes me realize what you say is true. 

I'm sorry to you my brothers and sisters, you grew so fast and I was so far away from you.

Sorry to the stranger that I blocked off with my car and I delayed him and then I realized that a polite hand gesture is not enough.

Sorry to the imam who I listened to and only realized that his word flew pass me.

Sorry to my teacher who taught me my first letter and I grew up without saying thank you.

Sorry,

To the one who greeted me so enthusiastically and I responded so coldly.

To my friends who I was unable to help.

For the word I said without real consideration. 

For my actions that I perform without focus.

Sorry for the apology that I delayed, to apologize earlier is mush easier then holding the burden of keeping it in.

Sorry my Lord, for not concentrating in my prayers and ignoring the fact that You are listening and watching. 

I'm sorry Allah, for every moment that You saw me turn away from Your worship and me being so heedless from Your All-seeing-eyes. Sorry my Lord, for not thanking You for everything You have given me, my health, my parents, my family and every single thing. 

Sorry my Lord, for wasting my time in things that do not benefits me.

From the money I spent so selfishly. 

From the words I spoke so carelessly, 

But I know You are The Most Forgiving and The Most Merciful. 

Help me Allah, in becoming a better person.

"I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you"

Indeed, the reason is all the person that I love. You and you and you and yes you.

p/s: it's my time.

#MH370

Assalamualikum

It's been 2 weeks and half since MH370 missing out. And last few days, our Prime Minister make a heartbreaking announcement to the all people, especially the one who have family members aboard. MH370 had ended at Hindi Ocean which the deepest ocean in the world. 

But still, don't lose hope until the wreckage found. Nothing is impossible in this world. Just be faith. When Allah wants it happens in that way. It will happen anyway.

They called "the darkest day for Malaysian". Let's pray for MH370. And may the phrase "syukur lah Malaysia masih aman" not just a phrase.

New year?

Assalamualaikum!

Hi people! It's never too late I guess to wish a Happy New. Dude, it's 2014! Once upon time, we thought 2014 was so far away. Time flew so fast. And this year I'm almost 21 years old. OMG, am I that old? :O

Today I'm feeling like I'm free again. Since last Tuesday, I'm pretty messed up. Actually this whole 3 month and half, I'm pretty messed up. Cerita nya, aku lately tak berapa nak sehat. Dah dua kali masuk hospital. First on 27th of November, and second time on 28th of Disember.

Ye lah, masa tuh kes denggi kat area Condo aku duduk ni which called Cyberia banyak la sangat. Member member satu University pon lepas satu satu yang kena. Aku pulak, Alhamdulillah tak kena denggi. It's just high fever. Itu pun dah rasa cam separuh mati bertaruh nyawa untuk terus hidup. chewah. Betul kot, temperature aku masa tu 39.7 celcius and above. Even worse, it reach 41 celcius. Rasa cam nak terbakar pun ada. Huuuuu, banyak dosa agak nya.

Indeed, this high fever make me a skeleton. Before sakit, aku ni takde lah nak kata gemuk sangat pun. Kalau kira BMI tu, on normal level lah kan. After having a high fever, I lose appetite A LOT. Makan muntah, makan muntah, makan muntah for a MONTH. So, no wonder if I lose my weight about 8kg in a month. No joke.

Dan sekarang I'm on mission to gain my weight back. Alhamdulillah, sekarang dah sihat dan selera makan pon dah macam hantu raya dah. Huuuu, dah tanak rasa dah demam panas tuh. Ever.

Herm. Cerita aku sakit ni the reason why today's sadness. For the first time kena barred subject Islamic Studies from taking final exam due to low attendance. Actually semua 5 subject aku kena barred untuk trimester ni. Tapi, aku sempat jumpa 4lecturer je untuk explain what was happened with my attendance. So, only for lecturer know my health issues and accept my excuses.

Last subject, macam tawakal habis lah. Nak buat macam mana, maybe there's a lesson to be learnt lah kan. Ah, sekarang ni struggle for final. Semoga lepas semua subject dengan keputusan yg berwarna warni lagi. chewah.

Okay, pray for my final! See ya 'til the next post! Peace out!

p/s: for the first time - the script 

 

I'm back people!

Assalamualaikum,

Post ini ditulis pada subuh hari, tak bermakna aku jenis bangun awal pagi. It just I haven't sleep yet. Takde maknanya lepas subuh aku tak tido balik. Okay tak senonoh betei.

Tengok last post bertarikh May 2013, boleh tahan lama jugak la aku tak jenguk kat sini. Doesn't mean I don't have good story to be share, it just I don't have enough time to write it here. Don't have enough time lah sangat. Padahal keje harian aku, tidoq je memanjang.

What inspired you? Chewah, inspired bagai. Ekceli, aku terpanggil untuk menulis blog balik sebab dua orang member aku ni. Sorang, nama dia Zaimah. To be short call her Zai. Satu Universiti ngan aku. Aku punya la kagum baca blog dia, bukan hape, kagum dengan semangat dia tulis blog.

Macam mana tak kagum, baru je lepas baca blog dia. And then, I met her at cafe, guess what did she said? "weh za, aku tengah fikir ape topik best nak tulis dalam blog.. rasa da lama gila tak blogging.." I was like, "Seriously zai? aku baru baca new post kau.. like yesterday?" Nampak tak dia punya ke-taksub-an terhadap blog camne? Dah terlambat sangat dah untuk pulih. HAHAHAHAHA.

Kalau korang nak baca blog dia dipersilakan, ni link nya Zaimah Zaini  . Kalau korang free, baca lah dan follow. Banyak good stuff there. Kah kah kah kah. Mohon Zai terharu aku promote blog dia.

And second person yang inspired utk tulis blog is, Ain. An old friend, that keep reading my blog even it's not updated. Okay, terharu kejap ._. sebab ada pembaca setia. *laplap airmata* Okay tak payah poyo sangat.

Apa yang nak di-update-kan kat sini ye?

Current issues? Okay we talk later. Aku nak mandi, siapkan tutorial, breakfast dan get ready pegi kelas pagi. Having early morning class in no joke. Kelas kul 8pagi bhai. Nak tau teruk tak teruk nya aku dengan morning class ni, sepanjang 5minggu sem ni start, sejujurnya aku bagi tahu. Kelas pukul 8pagi pada hari jumaat setakat ni, aku tak pernah pergi. Sebab? bukan tertido okay, sebab aku memang malas.

Subjek ni punya attendance haram habes lah. Tengah pikir macam mana nak halalkan ._. Diam. Aku tau aku teruk. Sekian. Kbye.

p/s: Kau takkan pernah tahu.

Pashmina Jordan Imported !

Assalamualaikum!

Hai semua :)

ZH Collection: Pashmina Jordan Imported
Material: 90% Pashmina, 10% cotton
Measurement: (click for more details)
Price: RM 35 each
Postage price: +RM6(Peninsular Malaysia)
Available in limited stock.
Interested? Do pm/contact me now !
SMS/Whatsapp+60199325708
First come, first serve.
Btw, more shawls are coming! Keep Updated!
Thank you ;)

SOLD OUT 

P001 -
measurement: 174 cm x 58 cm

P002 -
Measurement : 180 cm x 69 cm

 P003 -
Measurement: 167 cm x 63 cm
 

P004 -
Measurement: 163 cm x 57 cm

P005 -
Measurement: 160 cm x 51 cm

P006 -
Measurement: 179 cm x 62 cm

P007 -
Measurement: 184 cm x 62 cm

 

P008 -

Measurement: 185 cm x 61 cm

That's all for today ! ;)

Aku seorang pendosa

Assalamualikum,

Allah Maha Mengetahui segala-galanya. Yang terzahir dan yang tersembunyi. Meskipun cuba untuk menutup seribu rahsia, Allah itu lah jua yang mengetahui. Tiada nikmatnya menjadi seorang pendosa.

Ya Allah, 

Aku tahu aku sudah terlalu banyak menyalahi perintah-Mu. Aku tahu betapa banyak murka-Mu yang telah aku cipta. Aku juga tahu tentang perkhabaran azab pedih neraka yang akan membakar itu derita. Aplikasi ilmu tidak semudah berbicara. Itu kesilapanku. Aku seorang pendosa, ya Allah. Bagaimana untuk ku persembahkan segala amalanku yang serba sedikit ini, aku malu ya Allah.

Dunia yang ku tahu cuma persinggahan, aku tidak gunakan untuk mengumpul ilmu di dada, sebaliknya aku mengkhianati amanat yang diberi sebagai penuntut ilmu. Dunia yang ku tahu seharusnya menjadi penjara mukmin, aku telah menjadikan ianya sebagai syurga kehidupan. Alangkah ruginya aku. Iman terkadang naik terkadang turun. Kerana aku tahu, aku tidak sesempurna mana. Sering menyalahkan fitrah yang Engkau kurniakan. Aku mohon ampun ya Allah...

 

Seandainya setiap kali aku mengingati-Mu dalam setiap langkahku, dalam setiap bicaraku, aku pasti aku tidak seberani ini untuk memungkiri janjiku dengan pencipta-Ku. Ya, semuanya kerana aku yang lupa. Aku lupa yang Engkau pemerhatiku. Aku lupa yang Engkau bakal menghisabku atas segala amalanku. Masih ada ruang untuk Engkau menerima cintaku?

 

Penyesalan adalah taubat. Aku ingin kembali kepada-Mu. Ku ingin basuh segala dosa-dosaku dengan mencintaimu. Jika aku sendiri merasakan begitu derita dalam mencintai manusia, aku sendiri akan berpaling kepada kamu kembali mencintai Kamu. Jika aku sendiri pernah merasakan hidup yang Engkau kurniakan ini tidak adil bagiku, aku akan segera bertahajud kepadamu memperbetulkan sangkaanku kepada-Mu kerana aku tahu Engkau itu berada pada sangkaan hamba-hambaNya.

Izinkan aku untuk kembali meraih nur kasih-Mu. Meskipun aku cuma pendosa....

***

Meskipun kita pendosa, Allah itu sedia menerima taubat hamba-hambaNya. Meskipun kita cuba untuk menyembunyikan derita di sebalik senyuman kerana dosa-dosa, Allah itu sentiasa di sisi membantu kita mengharungi kehidupan. Dia menguji dan Dia yang menunjuk jalan keluar. Bangkitlah kita, khalifatullah, bangkit sebagai umat yang berjaya. Berjaya menyucikan hati-hati kita kembali. 

 

 

 

 ***

 

It's been months I haven't hanging around here. I'm too busy with real life. I'm too busy fixing everything that I ever broke. Hope, trust, love, and everything. I know I'm probably much too late, to try and apologize my mistakes. But I guess, better late than never. Things getting complicated. Only Lord knows, how I regret for every stupid things that I've ever done.

I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
Further and further away from you
Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank You with every breath I take.

Alhamdulillah
All praises to Allah

I never thought about
All the things you have given to me
I never thanked you once
I was too proud to see the truth
And prostrate to you

Until I took the first step
And that's when you opened the doors for me
Now Allah, I realized what I was missing
By being far from you.

Alhamdulillah
All praises to Allah

Allah, I wanna thank You
I wanna thank you for all the things that you've done
You've done for me through all my years I've been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
And did you give me hope

O Allah, I wanna thank you
I wanna thank You for all the things that you've done
You've done for me through all my years I've been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
I wanna thank You for bringing me home

Alhamdulillah
All praises to Allah

p/s: Memang, jalan ke syurga itu sangat berliku sehingga terkadang kita terkandas di tengah jalan.    

Not a Good Day

Assalamualikum

Hai ! ;) let me tell you some story about tomorrow. Yeah, walaupun semalam tarikh lawa, think about something special to do or something memorable to make. But, I end up like the others day. So, it's nothing to remember lah.

And today story pulak, 13/12/12 tarikh yang tak kan dilupa. Hari ini aku ada Quiz untuk subjek Database Fundamental. Nak kata ready tuh tak lah kan, aku memang takpenah ready kalau nak exam nih. Kalau kata tak study langsung tuh tipu lah kan?

Bangun pagi, solat subuh, sambung study sikit dan pergi breakfast. Tepat kul 9.30 Quiz start dan Alhamdulillah Quiz tadi open book takde lah gelabah sangat kan. Everything went smooth since sume yang aku study last minutes semalam masuk until lah last question.

Yang bahagian tak kelakar, bila kena wat coding database on the spot. Entah kenapa tetiba blur datang, kemain gelabah takyah sembang lah. Apeeee pun tak jadi -,-' time tuh sumpah cakap rasa nak nangis. At last, lecturer dah mintak pape. And I was like, "YA ALLAAAAAAH." (hantar paper dengan pasrah). HAIH, not a good way to start a day >.<

After that, lecturer umum beberapa nama student untuk jumpa dia lepas kelas tamat and my name is one of 'em. Okay tak expect pape pon at that time. Lepas kelas ikut dia balik ofis dia. Hahaha yang lagi tak kelakar bila dia cakap dia dapat laporan last week punya kelas ade orang tolong sign kan attendance untuk aku.

And I was like, "OMGGGGGGG.." sumpah kacau. Hehehe, at that time bukan niat nak menipu lah kan? Tapi bila MMU dah buat rules 80% ni kan, nak tinggal kelas main main pun susah. Okay this time memang ngaku lah kan salah aku. LOL.

Fortunately la kan lecturer tak amek tindakan pape, kalau tak mau nya aku kena disciplinary barred. Mampos la kot. =.=' I shall never repeat this stupid mistake againnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Memang takkan lupa lah this day. Haddoi.

Ahh, whatever it is, let's call it a day :)

p/s : kiss the rain

12/12/12? Is Today a Special Day?

Assalamualaikum

Hi readers ! Its been awhile la kan tak update blog nih and I think today is a good day to write a post. :)
 

Hey, its 12th December 2012! secara cun nya written as 12/12/12. Hehe. Hari ini, semua updates kat FB, twitter, whatsapp or even conversation in SMS are talking about the date. Everyone was like, 
 

"hey, lawa la tarikh hari ini! let's do something memorable.." 
  

And indeed, on this date ramai yang plan something to do. Tak kira lah kenduri kahwin ke, majlis kesyukuran ke, having a relationship with someone ke (this type of plan kalau relationship husband and wife or being engage oke lah kan)
  

kalau setakat bebudak tak berapa nak matang tetiba plan on nak couple, nasihat baik tak payah, baik fokus on study or whatever yang lagi penting kan? atau dah nama nya hukum kahwin tuh dah jatuh wajib, cepat cepat lah jumpa mak ayah mintak kahwin. Kan lagi mulia cemtu?
  

Sekarang pun dah banyak berita sana sini pasal bebudak muda yang kahwin awal. Bebudak yang dok university takyah cerita lah kan dah macam jadi trends pulak sekarang pasal kahwin awal nih. Okay lah kan? Haha. Tak pepasal teringat satu ayat ustaz nih,
   

"Okay lah kalau dapat parents yang paham dan boleh slow talk about this, kalau parents yang vice versa, sampai ke sudah puasa sunat lah jawab nya.."
  

Hahaha, kelakar. Eh eh cam dah lari jauh pulak dari topik. Hehehe, sembang pasal kahwin 18 posts pon belum tentu cukup kan? Haddoi.
   

back to tarikh yang lawa, 12/12/12. Haaaa, ape je nak buat? haha, guess pagi ni masuk kelas like the others day lah kan? Nothing special to me lah kot. Unless aku menjerit "OHHH, mama... saya mahu kahwin.. kahwin dengan siapa? dengan siapa sahaja..." Haaaa, kalau yang ni panjang lah cerita jadi nya. Hahaha.
   

So, korang punya 12/12/12 apa plan? mohon share lah ye. nanti malam karang aku post what happened on that day. hehe. Okay lah, ayam dah berkokok. Subuh dah hampir masuk. Jom guys get ready! bye!
   

EH EH jap, sembang pasal kahwin awal tadi, see this video and this wedding yang paling muda yang penah tengok.
  

  
Penah dengar pasal, syaitan menangis bila melihat pasangan muda berkahwin sebab mereka terpelihara dari segala hasutan dan godaan. Tapi kan, hehehehe ni bukan setakat syaitan je menangis, aku pon boleh nangis sekali menengok diorang ni, terasa tua pulak tetiba sebab tak kahwin lagi. Kehkeh. Eh?

BTW !

:D

  

Okaayyyy! Bye! (for real) 
  

p/s: find some peace and believe in this smile :)

A very stressful trimester

Assalamualaikum

lama jugak aku tenung screen laptop ni , dok pikiaq ape la nak tulis ni . naseb tak tembus je screen ni . maklum lah , dah 2 bulan dah tak update blog . blog pun dah bersepah sepah dengan sarang labah labah . fuh fuh fuh *tiup tiup sikit*

kesibukan melanda diri aku telah dipercayai menjadi punca dan penyebab utama blog ini diabaikan . umph , bukan setakat blog ni je terabai , makan minum , kesihatan , tidur dan macam macam lagi lah . hidup serabai gila sekarang ni . semua benda nak jadi dalam sem ni . penat .

aku tak nafikan yang first sem utk first year degree , sangat sibuk yang teramat . ye lah , time tu la nak adapt suasana real university punya life . time foundation dulu alah , ape je pon . lagi sakit kepala bila aku tukar faculty . macam macam procedure nak kena handle , itu ini . pening kepala bhaiii .

Alhamdulillah , walau jatuh tersungkur ke tanah aku masih bangun berdiri . segala cabaran dan ujian yang aku hadapi sepanjang sem ni , aku harungi dengan tabah . syukur ku punya seorang sahabat yang jatuh bangun bersama aku . member sorang ni , dari Foundation Engineering sampai lah tukar sekarang aku di faculty baru , Science Computer setia menyokong aku dari belakang . jatuh bangun kami bersama . #unmention *terpengaruh twitter*

nak cerita satu persatu yang jadi sepanjang sem ni , memang tak cukup page lah jawab nya . banyak sangat yang jadi . sampai aku tak larat nak menangis . ye la kan , menangis bukan tanda aku lemah . its just feel " I've been through a lot and I'm tired.." *kelas gitu cakap omputis*

bayang kan lah , sedar tak sedar I lose my appetite , I lose my weight . hilang sikit takpe jugak , almost 8Kg . and you've got the idea how stress I am here . aku bukan stress study , aku bukan stress dengan subject degree yang HENTAH HAPE HAPE itu . aku cuma stress dengan environment kat sini . kalau boleh every weekends aku nak balik kelantan . KELANTAN - a very stress free place .

you never know or imagine how stress being me right here right now . kalau parents aku tau aku stress sampai tak lalu makan , kalau makan pun muntah muntah , beli makan selalu tak habis , umphh sure sure lah kena belasah dengan umi aku . hehhh . life kan ? ape je yang tak stress . cuma kita je la kan yang kena pandai manage . kan ? nak sembang banyak banyak pon , aku taktau nak ulas satu persatu yang berlaku . so be it . leave it unspoken . hahaha .

eh , nak list jugak boleh tak ? hikhokk .
1. awal sem busy nak turun berurusan dengan Dean Engineering dan Dean Computer Science utk tukar faculty.

2. settle tukar faculty dok gaduh pulak dengan kerani Examination Unit sebab nak register subjek manually tapi tak dapat . akak kerani tuh sumpah boleh buat gaduh bhaiii . naseb dapat register , kalau tak maunya aku bakar opis tu dgn akak tu sekali hidup hidup . hehhh .

3. masalah mentally . healthy hehh . personal . itu ini . begitu dan begini .

4. bila dekat nak exam , bising dengan 80% attendance yang MMU dok gila baru buat . umphh , sah sah lah aku kena bar sume subjek sebab aku masuk kelas lambat due to change faculty . aku pun pelik kenapa aku still under barring list sedangkan aku punya case adalah special case . internal mmu punya system memang macam haram sikit . turun naik , berlari sana sini nak explain kat semua lecturer . sumpah penat .

5. lepas settle unbar attendance . tengok tengok aku kena financially barred *facepalm* sume benda nak jadi dalam satu masa , lepas satu satu jadi . bila financially barred aku sure sure takleh nak print slip untuk masuk exam . punya la risau , sampai rasa nak pitam time tuh . habis tawakal dah . and Alhamdulillah , dah jugak print 30minutes before the examination . gila kan ? cuak takyah cakap lah .

and now , here it comes . FINAL EXAM , jeng jejenggggg . boleh buat gaduh bhaii final exam nih . Alhamdulillah , I've beat 2papers down . kah kah kah . *well , the real situation nya ; it seems like aku yang kena belasah kaw kaw dengan 2 subject tuh* haaaaaaihhhhh .

but still 2papers left . tapi aku bersyukur aku dah lalui dua paper yg killer bagi aku . BAGI AKU lah . mohon take note , BAGI AKU . haha . a very stressful days had gone i guess . and i'm very grateful for this life . ujian dan dugaan kan tanda kasih sayang Pencipta kepada makhlukNya . kan ?

hokay lah . itu je la kot yang dapat aku celotehkan . hewhewhew . nak sambung study . you guys doakan kejayaan aku hokay ? hew :3 boiii you ols .

ehem , ni gambar my group after having the most awesome presentation that i ever had . dapat 29/30 kottttt . gempak la weii . hahaha . from left : hariz , ihsan , me and apek ! *don't get confuse , apek is a malay * kah kah kah . kbai . *for real*

p/s : nak sotong celup tepunggg *mengidam*

promosi SKD

assalamualaikum

hi ! i'm back ! kali ni , nak promosikan blog ni , Sembang Kemaih Derr . ehem , secara officially aku kerja kat blog ni sebagai salah sorg penulis untuk satu section dalam blog tuh . herm , cuba lah teka post yang mana aku tulis . hehe .

blog ni baru lagi , kami budak baru belajar . kalau salah tolong ajarkan lah yewww . rasa free free , lepak la kat blog tuh ye . banyak jugak info yang boleh korang dapat . haha .

lepas ni , mungkin aku dah jarang la kot post kat blog aku ni . kalau post pun , maybe its about my life . haha . .

*memang takde bakat untuk jadi promoter betul*

p/s : aku menulis bukan kerna nama .